What's in a title, anyway?

So every once in a while, we'll pause from the pursuit of political truth and take a look at what else is going on in the world ... for instance, today, let's look at the AARP's January/February 2005 magazine cover. (AARP, for you youngsters, is the Association of American Retired Persons)

This is the AARP's People of the Year issue, so naturally Richard Gere is on the front cover.

Anyone that read this last sentence and didn't frown, please stop reading and go away.

For the rest of us, let's find out why Richard Gere is receiving such a distinguished honor, shall we?

Aah ... there it is ... the answer. In the bottom left-hand corner of the magazine cover is the following:

Richard Gere, 55
Global Activist

Global Activist?

Global Activist?

Are you telling me that he didn't "get the cover" for his stirring role in Shall We Dance? (The ONLY movie he was in for the entire year of 2004 according to www.imbd.com)

I suppose he's too busy being globally active to do movies anymore ... now that I think about it, perhaps he should get an award for not doing movies anymore.

But anyway, this brings me to an interesting question:

If you could - which apparently you can - just make up a title for yourself, what would it be?

Let's face it, actor wasn't cutting it for Richie, so he went with something more dignified. And just think, if you pick the right title you could land on the cover of next years AARP's People of the Year issue.

Ah, to dream.

P.S. For all those offended by my tongue-in-cheek- mockery of Richard Gere, get over it, and remember how the doofus preached a non-military response to the 9-11 attacks in the hopes that asking the bad people to stop would bring about peace.